Untitled

we are all fester

A haiku about Mario Kart

Are you kidding me
Who the fuck threw that blue shell
I will fuck you up

terra-mater:

15 amazing things in nature you won’t believe actually exist

Source

theartoflurking:

theperksofbeingseamus:

Tumblr, teaching more about rape culture than they do in school

that last one

paigeallenyummm:

“this leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you. What they are forced to do instead is… take you seriously.”

Reblog every time

azraelles:

womanaconda:

25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34

[1 through 8]

[9 through 17]

[18 through 24]

HAPPY MONDAY, DASH~ (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧*:・゚✧

electricalice:

mrsbeefheart:

I fukin love 14th century art art because everyone looks so shady and suspicious of ppl around them its AMAZING

image

image

image

or just like they know something u dont and oh my gdfuck i cant

I believe the highest point is reached in Simone Martini’s Annunciation

image

and the look of absolute hatred Mary and Gabriel exchange. 

image

image

thesanityclause:

Anyone watch Phineas and Ferb?

Remember that one episode when Dr. Doofenschmirtz and Vanessa are riding a scooter to the mall and some guy catcalls at Vanessa and Doof turns and is like “She’s sixteen!” and freakin’ shoots him with a gun that sends people to alien dimensions

A+ Father

songofages:

schazam:


Elizabeth Báthory is one of the most prolific serial killers in all of history.
She was born into nobility and was highly educated but also very vain.
One day, infuriated, Elizabeth struck one of her servant girls so hard that some blood dripped from her face onto Elizabeth’s hand and she immediately thought that her skin took on a glowing freshness of her young maid.
Elizabeth believed she had found the secret of eternal youth. After this, women were abducted and hung upside down, while they were still alive and their throats were slit to prepare Elizabeth’s bath.
The Countess of Transylvania and four collaborators were accused of torturing and killing hundreds of girls, with one witness attributing to them over 650 victims, though the number for which they were convicted was 80. Elizabeth herself was neither tried nor convicted.

Can I just time in here and say a few things, since half of what is written here is straight from the wikipedia page, which don’t get me wrong —it’s accurate— but extremely underwhelming.
“Elizabeth” Erzebet Bathory was so much more than some vain bitch who killed over 650 women, she was a vain bitch who could speak and write more than two languages, in a time where a woman writing one was unheard of. She was raised mostly by her very infamous openly bisexual aunt, and was a torturer and a murderer before she was 14 (rumored).
This woman was the person who made the villagers quake in both fear and revelation, that the courts refused to take action against when young girls started dissapearing, when bodies started being found. She OWNED the country, her family was richer then even the Lords presiding over it, she had all the say.
Her and her ‘accomplices” (which by the way, they were extremely trusted, and unlike her, they were executed without mercy when the truth came out), would gather village children who their parents practically threw their way in hopes of a better future, although the children would never live again. She didn’t only hang them, she caged them, used iron maidens, spears, so many different objects. And the whole ‘bathing in blood’ thing, although is technically can be true, that and the whole striking her maid is all exagerrated to add to the story. Her and her husband got off to killing, literally, they liked the screams. If she bathed in blood, it wasn’t to be younger, it was to enjoy their life ending. Not to say she wasn’t vain, but for good reason. She was considered the most beautiful woman in Hungary for all of her days.
And she technically was tried, although as I said before she practically owned the country, they couldn’t actually kill her. But she had killed another young girl of noble blood, and that couldn’t just be set aside. So instead of execution, they sentenced her to house arrest for the rest of her days, unable to punish her for all the women she had killed.
Also, she had three children, and regardless of her murderous ways it was said that she had been a wonderful, loving mother. Strange how the ‘vain blood mistress’ can be more than just, isn’t it?
I could go on and on about this woman, I’ve read and watched basically everything pertaining to her due to reports and essays that I wrote when I was younger, and even though she was a horrifying murderer, she deserves a bit more than ‘blood bitch’.

It’s also interesting to note that one of her descendents feels so bad about what his ancestor did that he donates blood as often as humanly possible.

songofages:

schazam:

Elizabeth Báthory is one of the most prolific serial killers in all of history.

She was born into nobility and was highly educated but also very vain.

One day, infuriated, Elizabeth struck one of her servant girls so hard that some blood dripped from her face onto Elizabeth’s hand and she immediately thought that her skin took on a glowing freshness of her young maid.

Elizabeth believed she had found the secret of eternal youth. After this, women were abducted and hung upside down, while they were still alive and their throats were slit to prepare Elizabeth’s bath.

The Countess of Transylvania and four collaborators were accused of torturing and killing hundreds of girls, with one witness attributing to them over 650 victims, though the number for which they were convicted was 80. Elizabeth herself was neither tried nor convicted.

Can I just time in here and say a few things, since half of what is written here is straight from the wikipedia page, which don’t get me wrong —it’s accurate— but extremely underwhelming.

“Elizabeth” Erzebet Bathory was so much more than some vain bitch who killed over 650 women, she was a vain bitch who could speak and write more than two languages, in a time where a woman writing one was unheard of. She was raised mostly by her very infamous openly bisexual aunt, and was a torturer and a murderer before she was 14 (rumored).

This woman was the person who made the villagers quake in both fear and revelation, that the courts refused to take action against when young girls started dissapearing, when bodies started being found. She OWNED the country, her family was richer then even the Lords presiding over it, she had all the say.

Her and her ‘accomplices” (which by the way, they were extremely trusted, and unlike her, they were executed without mercy when the truth came out), would gather village children who their parents practically threw their way in hopes of a better future, although the children would never live again. She didn’t only hang them, she caged them, used iron maidens, spears, so many different objects. And the whole ‘bathing in blood’ thing, although is technically can be true, that and the whole striking her maid is all exagerrated to add to the story. Her and her husband got off to killing, literally, they liked the screams. If she bathed in blood, it wasn’t to be younger, it was to enjoy their life ending. Not to say she wasn’t vain, but for good reason. She was considered the most beautiful woman in Hungary for all of her days.

And she technically was tried, although as I said before she practically owned the country, they couldn’t actually kill her. But she had killed another young girl of noble blood, and that couldn’t just be set aside. So instead of execution, they sentenced her to house arrest for the rest of her days, unable to punish her for all the women she had killed.

Also, she had three children, and regardless of her murderous ways it was said that she had been a wonderful, loving mother. Strange how the ‘vain blood mistress’ can be more than just, isn’t it?

I could go on and on about this woman, I’ve read and watched basically everything pertaining to her due to reports and essays that I wrote when I was younger, and even though she was a horrifying murderer, she deserves a bit more than ‘blood bitch’.

It’s also interesting to note that one of her descendents feels so bad about what his ancestor did that he donates blood as often as humanly possible.

One Size Fits All
(A man comes to the counter and places two dresses on the counter: one sized XS and one sized XXL.)
Me: “Are these dresses both for the same woman?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Oh, okay. These are both very different sizes, so they are not likely to fit the same person. What size does she usually take?”
Customer: “Um… I’m not sure.”
Manager: “Well, does she look more like me or more like her?”
(Note: my manager is quite small, and I am quite big.)
Customer: “Um… uh… I’m sure these will be fine.”
Me: “Sir, because the price is marked down on these dresses they will be Final Sale, so you will not be able to return them if they are not the right size. Are you sure we can’t help you?”
(The customer looks around furtively, then leans in close so that only my manager and I can hear what he is saying.)
Customer: “These dresses are for me, actually.”
(My manager looks at me, and I at her, and then she turns to the customer and speaks a very matter of fact voice.)
Manager: “Why don’t you go try them on, then?”
Customer: “Really? Would that be okay with you?”
Manager: “Of course! Let me get you started with a fitting room.”
(I spend the next hour bringing this man dresses to try on and he had a lovely time! He introduced himself to me and thanked us profusely for being so understanding and helpful. He left with four dresses, all of which fit him to a tee, and he came back regularly after that.)

eveningoutwithyourqirlfriend:

Animal Cross-Dress and Fuck Your Gender Roles: New Leaf.